Batman & Robin... UHG!!!

     What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said before. It's quite literally the gayest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen gay dudes make out in my living room, so yeah. The Bat-Nipples, the bad puns, the day-glo and neon, the poor use of excellent source material, the campiness from the 60's Adam West series, Alicia Silverstone lol This movie is utter dog shit.

     As much as I razz on this shitty piece of shit, I do not hate this movie. In fact, I'm watching it right now, I chose this over a newer episode of "The Simpsons" [which is a totally other piece of shit these days and I'll get to that later]. I watch Batman and Robin pretty much every time I see it on TV, as long as I'm in control of the remote or I have time to literally waste. Because lets face it, one does not better themselves by watching this horribly made movie.

    On one hand, I have to thank Joel Schumacher,  because if he didn't murder this franchise the way he did, Christopher Nolan wouldn't of been able to bless us with the epicness of the Dark Knight Trilogy. The third chapter of that series is actually out next weekend, and this nerd is certainly very excited to sit down and watch it.

     On the other hand, Schumacher had to put this vile, putrid, hunk of moose dooky into theaters. When I was a kid and this movie first came out, I was very, very excited to watch it. Like most kids, I was super stoked for Batman anything. I had a bajillion different action figures, I used to make my own Bat-Cave playsets out of cardboard boxes, but I never got to see this movie in the theater, I didn't come from a family that was very well off, so movies were a luxury. Looking back, I'm glad my mommy didn't waste what little sheckles we had to watch this. I watched it on one of the premium movie channels. I will admit, that I actually did not hate it all. I like George Clooney, I obviously love Ahnuld. [He follows me on twitter BTW]

     How could this be bad, is all I could think. It seems I tend to look at Batman with rose colored glasses or something. In my heart though, I knew it was shit. I couldn't stand how bright it was, or the shitty jokes. The acting was just terrible. There is a reason why Alicia Silverstone isn't aloud in movies any more. She chews up every scene she's in like that dog in "Turner and Hooch" chewing on Tom Hanks car seat. I loved her in "Clueless" and I didn't mind her in the animated series "Brace Face", but c'mon, lets face it. She's probably the worst. If you need further proof, watch the sequel the live action Scooby Doo movie.

     This movie is a train wreck in every sense of the word. I can't keep my eyes off it. It's so awful. I'm such a fool for watching it. I know what the outcome is, I know it's not going to be good, yet I watch it, every single time that it's on! That's probably what I hate the most about it. I'm always drawn in.

   
     I don't really have too much more to say. So I will end this with pretty much the sole reason I watch it...


                                                ICE RELATED PUNS!!!!