2011: Hurry Up by Justin

Okay, so it's pretty safe to say that everyone knows I am a huuuuuuge geek. Not the socially awkward, live in my mom's basement, anime loving nerd, that still holds owns his virginity, type mind you. You don't get coined as the "devil incarnate" for being a virgin to say the least!

So whilst I have a decent social life, I still love to kick back and read my copies of Thor or Dark Avengers or watch the 1987 Dolph Lundgren classic "Masters of the Universe" where he plays the quintessential role of a lifetime "He-Man" the most non gay hero ever! As well as staple geek flicks as the original Star Wars trilogy.

But these days it's not so bad to be a nerd or a geek. That is a well overdue thanks to pop culture. With a little help from Hollywood of course. In the past decade, since Bryan Singer delivered "X-Men" to us, I've been treated to several "nerdgasms" that have made me feel like a five year old boy time and time again!

2010 has been a somewhat quiet year for comic inspired films. Iron Man 2 which was quite a delicious treat has been pretty much the only big name flick. But next year. Next year my toast gets some butter baby!

On the D.C. side we have Ryan Reynolds (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) as "Green Lantern". The tale of cocky fighter pilot, Hal Jordan. Jordan's chosen to wear a ring of immense power that can create quite literally anything the bearer imagines! This of course will be the jumping point for a projected trilogy that will show Hal as well as other Green Lantern's serving and protecting our galaxy.

But over on the Marvel side of things, we have some powerhouses on deck. Literally. Thor, the Asgardian God of thunder, who is sent to Earth. Played by Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek) who has the size to be the said Norse diety. Captain America, played by the unlikely Chris Evans (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World), whom has already played in the "Fantastic Four" as Johnny Storm aka the Human Torch.

I am pretty stoked for Green Lantern, but I am counting the days till I can get in line for midnight screenings of Thor and Cap. The main reason for this is simple. The Avengers!!!! Since Iron Man came out a couple years back, Marvel's plan to put the larger than life team on film as slowly been coming into fruition. All with Samuel L. Jackson as the main link between them all to boot. His 10 second cameo post Iron Man credits, got him a 9 picture deal to portray S.H.I.E.L.D. front man, Nick Fury.

Anyone with their thumbs not 3 knuckles deep inside their own ass, but instead on the proverbial pulse, can tell you Marvel aka "the House of Ideas", has got it going on! I mean it's pretty fricken sick how ambitious their plan is. Bring forth the main characters in the Avengers with individual, big budge, awesome films that have actors all set up to team up, literally on screen, all to take on some sort of world threatening villian, or villians!

Of course the only setback is that Edward Norton who played Dr. Bruce Banner in "The Incredible Hulk" was unfortunately been put aside while while Marvel decided to get an ass eating, butt munch, known as Mark Ruffalo. Who knows, his entire crappy career could have lead him to this and, he might just blow it right out of the water! Highly unlikely, but one can dream!

Now I'm off topic. Avengers is a 2012 film this article is about 2011. Again, I can't wait for it to get here. The onscreen reuniting of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in "Paul", Zack Snyder's latest, starring the cause of all my wet dreams as of late, Emily Browning (The Uninvited) are just a couple of more reasons.

Oh and did I mention fucking Thor and Captian fucking America!!?!?! Holy fuck it's great to be a geek these days. In fact in January, pulp classic hero "the Green Hornet" starring Seth Rogen (every movie in 2009) kicks off the start of this great year for comic book films. Green Hornet is probably not as well known as it's lead actor mind you, but the films teaser trailer, looks promising.

It looks to be quite the year ahead of us. I'm more than certain this will not be the last time I write about any of these movies! And with every day that passes, another gets closer to it!

-Justin

OH GROSSS by Justin

So last night at work, I was doing my routine cleaning. When all of a sudden this rotund ball of disgusting, freckly, ginger comes to order food! It took everything I had not to barf the vomit that rose into my mouth, all over the counter in front of me! I did in fact, go and get Jenn to check "it" out! To which she did and almost immediatly returned with a huge smile that quickly turned into almost uncontrollable laughter!

This is not, by any means, and isolated incident. I like most of you, have known many red haired, freckled, and pale skinned "things". In elementary they shared our playgrounds, and creeped the hell out of us! When I was in junior high, I knew one that not only was a gross ginger, happened to be a wigger fag to boot! At one point he even had corn-rows! White people should NEVER have corn-rows! Especially ones with sick, orangey-red hair!!!!

What is it about gingers that make us feel ill with in moments of seeing them? Well I think I'll break it all down into the 3 main characteristics!

Red Hair:
Obviously this is the tell tale sign of these disgusting creatures. But I know for a fact that red hair isn't all that bad! Take Isla Fischer for instance. This little hottie was uber hot as a sex freak in "Wedding Crashers". Or Lindsay Lohan circa "Mean Girls"!!! Those beauties don't technically count as gingers. At least in my book. While they have red hair, it's not that sickly, gross orange-red that trademark a Ginger.

Freckles:
Freckles are pretty gross. I can't think of any time I liked them. I used to get them in the summer time as a child, on my cheeks. But come fall they'd vanish. A few summers ago I went through quite possibly the worst sun burns in the history of EVER, which lead to my shoulders and upper back to be covered in them to this day. But at least in my case they were a reaction. Ginger's happen to be cursed since birth to bear these demon spots!

Pale Skin:
Many legends that deal with monsters, such as the undead talk about figures with pale skin. Vampires, fresh zombies, hell even death himself all have an inability to get a tan! "South Park"'s Eric Cartman, gave a presentation that somewhat proved that Ginger's were in fact "not unlike vampires"! Lets just say, it's a pretty thorough presentation. Pale skin isn't always bad either though. Remember Snow White? She was the fairest in all the land! Also "Stoya". Anyone who's watched one of her films, would know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

In conclusion, I figure, it's not simply having one symptom of "Gingervitis" but in fact having all 3 combined that make up these hideous creatures! So the next time your on the bus, or at the mall and you come across one of these sickly, gross, things. Remember, while your struggling to keep your bile in your stumach... don't turn your back on it, because when it comes to your soul, it won't hesitate to suck it out of your body!

Thank you!

-Justin

Check out this piece of "Art" :




Also, I couldn't find the original South Park clip with Cartman's presentation, but this is close enough !

Game Review: Red Dead Redemption by Justin

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

First One.

Hello all, Jen speakin'.

I'm not entirely sure what to write about, as all my material is at home. So I'll just improvise for now. And pardon my transitions; they'll be intentionally obnoxious.

I saw Inception this past weekend. In fact, Justin suggested I write about it in the blog. I won't even begin to explain it, comprehend it, or detail it for your knowledge. Get off your ass and go watch it yourself. It's complicated, mind-blowing, and down right phenomenal. Bravo, Christopher Nolan. A movie comparable to The Dark Knight? You deserve a cookie.

NEXT:

Uhm... next...

Uhhh...

Shut the fuck up, Justin. I'm thinking...

Okay, NEXT:
I'm going to school for Geology. Yup, University of Manitoba- Class of I Don't Fucking Know (Masters, PHD? I'm juggling the ideas). I'll be learning more about Earth, it's many dynamics, and how it's physical attributes have eroded, melted, washed away, broken, subducted, froze, expanded, evolved over +4 billion years. NOT SIX THOUSAND YEARS. Yes, that's right ladies. I'm pointin' my finger at you Young Earth Creationests who believe the world is only six thousand years old. Really? Are you familar with Crater Lake, Oregon? It was once a massive volcano only six thousand years ago. It's core collapsed and has since collected melted snow and rain water creating what we call a caldera. Regardless, that process took only six thousand years, and in regards to the rest of Earth's time line, that's nothing. Nada, zilch, zip. It's incomparable to, say, the Rocky Mountains which took 75 million years to form! That number is incomprehensible to the 10% of our brain usage! 75 million years scientifically proven by cold, hard facts. Not pulled out of the ass of some middle-aged, overweight scientist sitting at a desk picking his nose.

But what should emphasize the truth even more for you narrow-minded people is the oldest rock discovered by man. Listen up (I'll write in caps so you get my point):

OFF THE COAST OF THE HUDSON BAY IN NORTH QUEBEC LIES A TYPE OF GNEISS THAT HAS BEEN DATED AT 3.8-4.28 BILLION YEARS OLD. NOT THOUSANDS, BILLIONS.

GO FIND THAT ROCK, SIT ON IT, AND RECONSIDER YOUR BELIEFS.

THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.




Yours truly,

Jen

<3

Gee I Heart Glee!!!! by Justin

So it's been a few weeks since Glee's season finale aired and I'm already jonesing for season two.

It's funny, I normally don't like musicals. I more or less think that they are pretty fricken gay. There is just something about this show. Maybe it's the humour, or maybe the obvious chemistry that the cast has on and off screen. Or maybe it's just Santana, with those "Fuck Me" eyes!! ;]

It's probably the music, aside from one particular episode that was devoted to that won't quit has been known as Madonna. The music is pretty good! Some songs like Beck's "Loser" and, Aerosmith's "Dream On", which are songs I pretty much hated prior to watching the glee cast perform them, have really shed a light on old classics. I often find myself with classic rock songs stuck in my head no thanks to this show. "Can't fight this feeling" and "Beth, I hear you calling" are 2 prime examples. Also Journey, and lots of it! :] Like I always say, there's nothing like Journey to bring white people together!

The show also boasts alot of heart at it's core. Between love interests and issues like teen pregnancy and a homosexual coming out of the closet to his father, it can be a genuinly touching. Seriously, it's made me all glossy eyed on several occasions.

But now it's over for at least 3-4 more months. I won't ruin the details, but it ended on a high note. Tied up some pretty major storylines and opened the door to new beginnings!

-Justin

Welcome!!!!

Welcome to the blog you've all been waiting to gaze your eyes upon!!!
This is the bloggiest blog in all of blogging history, ever, EVER!!!!

We will be posting all sorts of things that will warm your heart, tickle your silly bone, and tickle your tickle bone ;) also some things that are not for the feint of heart. If you get offended easily, you will not be always happy with the content posted. But if your not a conservative asshole, we're sure you'll have a great time!!

So make sure to check back often to see what kinds of zany things we toss up here!
Also don't be afraid to post comments, we thrive off you knowing you love or hate the shit we post hahahaha

anyways, peace for now!

-Justin and Jenn!