5 reasons I think soccer is gay. by Justin

As a geek, I don't get too much pleasure out of sports. I prefer to watch Kevin Smith movies or play my PS3. This doesn't mean I hate sports. At least entirely. I love Lacrosse, and I'd love to learn how to golf. But most sports, at least for me are just more fun to play than watch.

Golf, football (I mostly prefer the playing catch aspect), Hockey, are sports I enjoy playing. I used to play a lot of backyard sports when I was much younger. The only sport I actually played in a league.. was soccer. Now I was 4 years old, and didn't really have much to say in the matter. My cousin was on a team, so I joined in. I don't remember very much about it except that I had a few trophies and apparently I would cry when no one would pass me the ball. A kid crying at 4 years old cause his team mates won't share, is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyways I've never really liked soccer. In fact I pretty much despise it. So here is 5 reasons that I made up on the spot earlier tonight, completely for no apparent reason, that I think soccer is gay!

Numero I:

You can't use your hands!!
Where the hell is the fun in that? Sure it's challenging, but it's fucking stupid

Numero II:

The nets are too big!
A hockey net is a great size, because one person can block it. The net for a soccer goal is like the size of four 67' Cadillac's stacked together!! Props to any single goaltender that can keep from getting scored on, cause seriously I wouldn't even bother showing up.

Numero III:

World Cup.
World cup happens every few years or so, I don't know how many, because I don't give a fuck, and everybody makes a big deal about it. The reality is though, most of those same people don't give a rats ass about soccer. But because it's a big event, they all gotta show their fakeness by rooting for teams that arent even from their own country. Fucking fake ass bitches.

Numero IV:

High socks.
Wearing your socks pulled all the way up when you have shorts on, is the stupidest look ever... topped only by stir-up pants in baseball!!

And finally the last and probably most important reason I think soccer is gay:

Numero V:

MEGA MAN SOCCER


I'm tempted to just leave it at that. If you've ever played this game, you will know what an utter piece of dog shit it is. I don't even want to bother to review it. IT SUCKS BALLS.
The END



-Justin

Playstation THREE by Justin

Hey all, just did a minor addition to the bloggy blog. If you peer over to your right you will see my PS3 gamer tag. Feel free to add me to your system if you gots one and yous wants to play some games wif me!! Anyways yeah, I have seen these things on message boards for a long time now and for some odd reason I never had one. Which is stupid cuz I love my PS3 and I play it all the time. I'm currently playing "Star Wars the Force Unleashed II" for like the third or fourth time. I think this game is a lot of fun to play. And I'm only 2 trophies away from having platinum (100% trophies for the game). So yeah nothing major, but something fun to peek at on the sidelines lol Till next time..

Peace

-Justin

I.D.G.A.F. by Justin

So some of you may know this and have seen it, but for the most part it's not been shared at all. I have a little green sketchbook that I started doing doodles and sketches in, roughly a year ago. In this little green sketchbook also has several little comic strips that I made. Mostly based on true stories or conversations from my everyday life... because I'm a shitty writer and can't think of anything to do myself hahaha. Besides, the best inspiration is drawn from your own experiences :d

Anyways while I was at C4 comic con last weekend, I had teh esteemed pleasure of sharing a table with 3 gentlemen from a website called www.3inq.com. These gentlemen really were a treat for me, as they were funny as hell, and into homo-erotic humor. I showed them said green sketchbook and it was a hit. Which personally was nice to know that relative strangers thought my stuff was good as opposed to just a few close friends, family and, my girlfriend.. all whom are biased.

So after glancing at my book, they said I should do daily comics for their website. I was flabbergasted at the offer. I obviously accepted, but declined on the notion of it being daily, as I am not a good writer and would not be able to make that kind of a deadline. We agreed on Weekly, which is fine, because that gives me the option to try to make a new strip to add, or just fall back on the ones I already have.... and with the exception of maybe 4 people, nobody would know hahahha

So I thought this would be a good time to be like a non-gay George Lucas. I started digitally remastering my work, so that I could share it with a broader audience. Also I gave it a title. "I.D.G.A.F." Which of course is an acronym for "I don't give a fuck" lol I also decided that this would be the opportune time to add wonderful technicolor and do minor editorial changes. Things that were funny a year ago, may not be now.



Also for the sake of making their site more popular, although that may stop immediately since I've come aboard, I will only be posting the comic strips exclusively to 3inq.com. Until they kick me off the site hahaha

So I hope you check their site, and bookmark it and all that jazz. It's pretty good. "Buddy Cop", a video project of theirs is soo funny. Get down there and have a good time!! Also the book "Victor's Legacy" which is about Frankenstein's monster in a zombie infested post apocalyptic world, is really good. The first 5 chapters are online, or you could be awesome and just purchase the entire first volume in graphic novel form. I have a copy, (and it's signed, bitches) It's a fantastic read!!! The website is at the bottom of the page, as well as the facebook fan page of Merk, the artist behind "Victor's Legacy"

Your assignment is to enjoy our shit, no go forth and be free... whatever the fuck that means!!

-Justin


www.3inq.com
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Merk/135968200630

Movember!!! by Justin

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEEAARRR!!!! That's right, Movember is back!!! Fall is here, time to keep your upper lip warm with a beautiful and elegant mustache! I started growing in the rest of my goatee back in September. I normally have just the chin. Last year, I started growing Nov. 1st and I had to wait till the end of the month to finally have a really nice stache, only to have to shave it off for the end of the month. Now thanks to pregrowing and shaving off the chin bits, I have a spectacular handlebar mustache, that I will be making smaller every week of the month, leaving me with something similar to what Charlie Chaplin donned on his face oh so many years ago!!!



Movember is not only about looking bad ass, it's about spreading awareness about men's health issues. The most predominant being Prostate cancer. Which takes way too many lives, every day. I'm not about to get a flow chart going, or post some statistics or anything. But it's super serial. Mustache's have been given a bad rap over the last 12 years or so. It seem's that they are solely for Hockey players during playoff season and porn stars, in porno season. I think if we all look back at photo albums, our father's rocked some pretty sweet mustaches as a day to day look. I know for at least for me, whenever my dad, or my late Uncle Roy, when they were clean shaven it was difficult to recognize them!!! Obviously now, in my mid twenties, I don't find it hard to recognize who my father is, but I still pester him from time to time to grow it again, for me lol Have you ever seen Sam Elliott without his face snuggler? He is still very handsome, but I can't help but stare at the void under his nose! There's just an empty space where a mustache should be!!! It doesn't look right! It is something that definitely suits him, like other mustache enthusiasts, such as Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. These men are cinematic icons... as well as icons for epic bad assery! Can you imagine what Hulk Hogan would look like clean shaven? I don't even want to live in that world! Hell even Ben Affleck, who is one of people magazine's sexiest man of the year award winners, rocked a full on handlebar stache in Smokin' Aces.He looked fucking awesome as shit! He was also killed off in said film, but that is beside the point XD So come on my fellow Y chromosomers, get that stache growing, the ladies will thank you for it, your upper lip will thank you for it, and in December when you look back at the previous month you will not regret it!!! -Justin

New Shiz

SUP NIGGAAAASSS!!!!

So I was bored, decided to change the look of teh blog a little bit. Added a new weekly poll thingy on the side. New content will be uploaded by me, and hopefully by Jen, very often now. No more excuses. Some things to look forward to in the near future are scans of my art to be posted. Movie and video game reviews will be more current lol. I'm thinkin of having "Fap Fap Fridays" which I just post like 5-10 pictures of hot chicks for you to peruse and do whatever to. Posts will consist of general stories I want to share, photos, possibly celebrity gossip, although I'm not too big on that. Homages to movies. I'll occasionally review something from like the 90's or something. Stubborn opinions that I have, like how I think watermelon is gross and that 3D films are a gayass fad. As also the films Tim Burton has made since "Batman Returns" oh so many years ago!

I encourage comments whole heartedly. I want to know what you want me to put on here, since your the ones that read it. Also, tell your friends about it, write the blog address in outhouses and bathroom stalls, bookmark it on your friends homepage on their p.c. hahaha lets get this puppy rolling. I don't want to have just some ordinary run of the mill blog like every other asshole on the internet (Perez Hilton, lookin at you!)

The main reason I wanted a blog is because I have lots of opinions and things to say, and I can't always put it on facebook, because some one always has to cry about shit. I'm gonna go out and say it, I like to tell racist and sexist jokes. I'm the guy that says what everyone is thinking, the guy that's not afraid to tell a joke or speak his mind outside the comfortable confines of my living room with my pals. I like to drink, I enjoy smoking a bowl every now and then. I'm rude and crude and I don't give a fuck what people think. Also I'm very stubborn lol I'm not afraid to make fun of myself, or you, but it's all in good fun. If you have an open mind and a good sense of humour, we'll get along fine. Also if you like bananas and Ben Affleck, we will get along fine. So I guess thats it for now. I'll leave this post off by saying that I think X-Box is gay...

Peace!!!

-Justin

Game Review: Star Wars the Force Unleashed II by Justin

Finally Star Wars the Force Unleashed 2 is out. Or Star Wars F U 2 as I call it. The wait is over!!! The first game came out with such a bang that it's pretty hard to top what it did. The revelations of the Star Wars mythos that the game brought forth were pretty epic. There will be some spoilers for the first game in this particular review due to the fact that this game pics up not to far after the events after F U one.

Starkiller is back as the Jedi without a cause. Off on an adventure to get revenge on Darth Vader for destroying his life. He's on a journey to get back the love of his life, Juno Eclipse. You start off in the beginning a slave to lord Vader. One thing worth mentioning is that you are not the same Starkiller from FU one. Starkiller met his demise, sacrificing himself to start the rebel alliance at the end of the first game. You are in fact a clone. Vader has been on a mission to create the perfect secret apprentice. You become self aware and learn that every other clone has been killed by Vader, because they went insane caused by haunting memories from the original Starkiller.

You flee the cloning labs on Kamino. You may remember this waterlogged planet from Episode II. You head off to find your Jedi mentor Rahm Kota, he's been captured and is being forced to battle in a gladiator like execution.
Once reunited you head off to find Juno. On the way to finding Juno, you do some soul searching by ways of the Tree of Evil on the planet Dagobah. Jedi master Yoda, now in exile guards the tree and invites you to find what answers you seek. This is very much like Luke's training session in Empire Strikes Back, where he goes into the very same tree. The vision leads Starkiller to a massive rebel alliance space station, where he finds Juno, just in time to be kidnapped by the merciless bounty hunter Boba Fett. Fett has been hired by Vader to lure you back to him. You go on another journey to rescue Juno and in the process cross lightsabers with none other than Darth Vader himself. I won't spoil what happens next.

The story in this game if very compelling. It's not quite as long as the first game. I finished it in about 5 hours or so. The acting is as amazing as it was in the first game. Sam Witwer is brilliant as Starkiller. His performance is very real and compelling. Not to mention his likeness is amazing. The character model is fucking gorgeous. It probably has the best hair I've seen in a game.

The gameplay has been enhanced. Many more combo's to play with this time around. The addition of a second lightsaber really makes the fighting a visual treat. There are new abilities such as the mind trick, which can be used to trick enemies to kill themselves or turn on there friends. It comes in handy. The ability to add force push into saber combo's is pretty nice too. New grapple moves have been added. They are pretty cool to watch, and are extremely effective to perform... too effective. I tried to limit using them to keep the game more challenging.

The game's menu is streamlined and much easier to navigate. There are still 2 menu's to choose from. One with the Select button, the other with the Start. This time around there are no annoying load times to hinder you though.

There are unlockable challenge levels for you to try out. Each has a bronze to platinum ranking, and your score is compared to those of everyone on the Playstation network. Some challenges are pretty difficult though. I threw my controller against the wall out of anger and rage and, the R1 button popped out. It popped back in and works fine, but now i have a stupid crack in my controller to remind me to throw a shoe or something instead!!

Like the original there are a plethora of costumes and outfits you can unlock. 2 of which are ported over from your save file from the first game if you have one. That is a feature I was specifically crossing my fingers for. Speaking of porting over. I played the demo a few times and I guess my stats carried over. There were a few trophies I was awarded for killing enemies certain ways 10 times each. I only did them 3 or 4 times in the actual game and I got the trophy. I thought that was neat.

I have high hopes for future downloadable content for this gem. The original had new levels and costumes. I'm sure this will as well. The trophies for FU 2 are all in game. Unlike it's predecessor, which had multiple mandatory trophies from download only levels. If you've been reading other reviews of mine, you would know I absolutely hate that. It is fucking dogshit. There are people in the world that do not have the internet, or do not want to purchase additional content. There should not be mandatory trophies for online only content. Unless the entire game is online... that's of course okay lol.

This game's graphics are stellar. Starkiller looks amazing, I can't say that enough. The level design is pretty grand. The level selection is kind of small though. Compared to the first game where you traveled to several locales, from the Wookie homeworld to the Death Star. This time around most of the story takes place on 3 stages. Kamino, Cato Nemoidia, The Salvation (the space station where Juno is), and back to Kamino.

There is not a whole lot of variety in terms of enemies. You mostly kill Stormtroopers of varying types and giant Robots. Unlike the variety of the robot fights in the first game, where you had to do context sensitive finishers, there is only 1 each. There are new "Terror" types, which consist of dudes in armor and battle droids. One thing I noticed is that all there helmets/heads are similar to General Grievous. It's nothing major, just something I thought was particularly cool.

If I was to review the first F U, which I still may do, because I still play it fairly often. I would rate it an 9. The only real problems I had with 1 are load times. Also enemies are kind of bland. There were plenty of them and they were fun to fight. Perhaps bland was the wrong word to use. Each stage had it's own light, medium and, heavy hitters, which were pretty much all the same style of warrior just with different character models. I just find it lazy on the developers end. Marvel Ultimate Alliance had this same issue.

I'm going to give F U 2 an seven out of ten. The shortness of the game and lack of enemy selection and levels hinders it more than I'd like to admit. I love this game, I will be playing it often as well. I just really really hope that the DLC includes new levels. The game feels like it was cut off kind of early.

Something I noticed after I finished the game as well, is that everything from the trailers is not in the game at all. There are similarities, such as the arena where you fight a monster that eats Rankor's. But the set up for that is not like the preview at all. The second big trailer, looked like it was going to be the opening to the game. Again, it's similar but at the same time, not even close. I will post the videos as a reminder. So that when you finish the game you can look back and compare for yourself. Personally I think the game had some semi last minute re-writes to make a deadline or something. That would explain the lacking of levels and enemies. Oh well. The third one will be the best one in the series, if and when it arrives.

I don't want to sound like I'm ragging on this game though. It is extremely fun to play, and well worth it to play if you are a fan of the first game.

Star Wars the Force Unleashed II gets a 7/10

-Justin


This is the first trailer that was released...



This is the trailer I mentioned that seemed like it would open the game...



This isn't in the game either, it's just a tv spot, but still pretty fucking cool to watch...



This is another tv spot, that is fucking badass!




And last but not least, this is the latest trailer for the final version of the game!

Game Review: Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions. by Justin

Hello all,

I'm here with my review for Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions. I'm going to start off by saying, this is the most fun Spider-Man game I've played since Spider-Man 2 so many years ago. The game's subtitle "Shattered Dimensions" represents the fact that your pretty much getting four Spider-Man games in one. It all starts off with Mysterio trying to steal a magical tablet and in the fight with Spidey, it breaks. The tablet has the ability to grant powers, so naturally a bunch of supervillians get there hands on the tablet shards. The shards have been sent into 4 different dimensions, so it's up to the amazing Spider-Man and three other Spider-Men from the remaining dimensions to save the day. Ultimate Spider-Man, in the symbiote black suit, Spider-Man from the year 2099 and, the Noir Spider-Man.

Each dimension plays differently from one another, each with varying game aspects, to keep it fresh. The look and feel of the worlds as well as the characters is very different as well. Th\e Spider-Men each have seperate fighting styles to boot. In the 2099 universe, there are plenty of flying cars and tall futuristic buildings to swing past. Ultimate feels like it's straight out of the comic book.

Along with the different looks, there are also different voices. Recognizable voices for anyone that's been following Spidey's animation career. The voice of the extremely popular... and still amazing... 90's cartoon, Christopher Daniel Barnes plays the Noir Spidey. From the 3D animated series MTV did after the release of the first film, How I Met Your Mother's very own Neil Patrick Harris is on vocal deetz. Dan Gilvezan from Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends dons the 2099 suit. My personal favorite Josh Keaton from the Spectacular Spider-Man rocks the black suit in the Ultimate universe. On top of that Stan "the Man" Lee also narrates, Excelsior!!!

*Trivia* Josh Keaton also played Harry Osborne in the Spider-Man movie based games!!

This game is reminiscent of the first 2 games of the franchise that Activision did in the early millenium. The games were mission based, as opposed to free roaming like the last bunch of games that came out after the second movie game. (which set the bar waaaaay to high for any super hero game)

The writing is good, Spider-Man is persistently funny. As well as Deadpool who is voiced by the one and only Nolan North. North reprises the roll from "Hulk vs. Wolverine" where he played the Merc with a mouth with such gusto that I can't see anyone else do it... save for Ryan Reynolds of course. The characters don't seem to act out of place. There is plenty of re-play value to be had. There are the standard difficulty levels to try to challenge yourself. There are challenges throughout each level that let you unlock bonus attacks and combos. As well as bonus costumes to wear while doing everything a spider can.

There are 13 unique bosses to fight. From Carnage to Kraven the Hunter. They all have different strategies to take them out. Some bosses you go into "Fight Night" mode as I call it. Your pretty much in first person view and your boxing with the boss! Some bosses take up the entire screen in size... which was kind of predictable given that it's Sandman and Mysterio. I swear Mysterio goes to gynormous proportions in every game he's in. I don't get it. Is that the only way to make fishbowl head cool or threatening? Spider-Man on PS1/N64, Spider-Man 2 the movie (PS2 and PSP) for example.

The levels are massive and take a fair bit of time to complete, usually about 45 minutes or so. There is one tiny flaw that I couldn't help notice and it's the matter of repetition. Every level seems to have the same pattern. The boss shows up, taunts you, you chase him, then fight him. He flees, you fight some henchmen, save some civilians, fight some more henchmen then boss fight. It's a decent pattern, but if your playing the game for over a couple of hours it gets old. I beat the game in 2 sittings, but I don't mind that.

I had so much fun playing this game. I will be playing it again. I also can't wait for some downloadable content to pop online. Some new levels and costumes would be a great addition. There was also a Spider-Ham easter egg in the middle of the game's credits. I think it would be awesome to fight Carnage as Peter Porker!!!!


I hope that this is a series that will continue. There are so many different universes with the Spider-Man mythos, it'd be a waste to not sieze that opportunity. This game however is no waste, it's a lot of fun and you will play more than once!!!

Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions gets an 8/10

-Justin

C4 Comic Con

So Comic Con is upon the city again, and I am once again a guest artist, so make sure you come and say hi, and maybe pick yourself up some artwork done by yours truly. It will look great on your walls, or as a gift to a friend or loved one (or someone you hate cuz it's not really that good of art anyways hahahaha but the prices are low ;D)

Anyways Comic Con is something I've been apart of for the last few years now. I just thought I'd post some preview artwork for now, and next week afterwards I'll post some stuff thats exclusive to the blog. Pieces that were used as one of a kind commissions n such.





So thats just a taste of whats in store. Also posting will be a lot more frequent on here, I promise!!!!

-Justin

the greatness of Ahnuld Schwarzenegger by Justin Millen

So it's been a while since my last post, mostly due to technical difficulties...

I don't have a computer lol!!

This is a note some people may have read already, since I literally am just copy/pasting it from my facebook notes lol. But I wrote this bad boy like 2 years ago, so it's alright to pop up here hahahaha

I will be posting regularly soon, I have some articles in the works in a notebook at home just waiting to be typed up and posted so keep on watching!

and now without further ado....

The Greatness of Ahnuld Shwarzenegger!


Hello,
it's been along time since I've made a note, but now I have something that is very noteworthy, Arnold Schwarzenegger!!! Most people only know him from his films, and being the Gummybear of Candycornya (or the governor of california ur call!!) anyways, here is a lil bio, hopefully all you giirly folk will learn sumthing!!

Arnold is one of the single greatest beings to ever walk the Earth! I refrain from saying greatest 'human' beings, because he is so godly, I'm not sure if human is a worthy enough title for him.
he's a self made man, he used body building as a ticket to america. Arnold started when he was 15 and entered many competitions, he even became mr. Europe. Arnold entered all sorts of competitions such as mr. universe, he was the youngest person to win it at 20 years old and mr. olympia (the most prestige competition), which he one 6 times in a row! He was only going to retire after the 5th win, but was asked to compete again so the film "Pumping Iron" could be made, a documentary following Arnold and other big named body builders such as Lou Ferrigno, on their quest for the epic title of Mr. Olympia!
While Arnold was filming "Conan the barbarian" Arnold entered into the competition again, to regain the title for the 7th time!

Arnold did many investments and business ventures which made him a millionaire before his acting career took off. He also wrote many articles for fitness magazines, and judged many body building competitions, most notably the Arnold Cup, which is obviously named after him.!

Arnold retired from body building as the reigning world champion and pursued a career in acting. I'm not going to go into detail about all of his films, because any person in there right mind should know what I'm talking about. A small filmography includes:

The Terminator trilogy
Twins and Junior partnered with Danny Devito
Kindergarten Cop
Predator
Conan series
the Running Man
Total Recall
Last Action Hero
Batman and Robin

In 2003 Arnold ran for governor of California, and has been in office since then. Arnold donates his $175,000 governor salary to charities. Arnold is also campaigning on bringing down green house gas levels and has proposed many plans to drop the levels in the future to levels they were in the early 90's. Arnolds home has solar panels installed and he owns a Hummer that runs on hydrogen and another that runs on bio diesel.

I hope you have enjoyed this note about one of the most iconic and influential action stars, bodybuilders and beings to ever share our planet with us! Arnold Schwarzenegger!

-thanks for reading

Justin Millen

2011: Hurry Up by Justin

Okay, so it's pretty safe to say that everyone knows I am a huuuuuuge geek. Not the socially awkward, live in my mom's basement, anime loving nerd, that still holds owns his virginity, type mind you. You don't get coined as the "devil incarnate" for being a virgin to say the least!

So whilst I have a decent social life, I still love to kick back and read my copies of Thor or Dark Avengers or watch the 1987 Dolph Lundgren classic "Masters of the Universe" where he plays the quintessential role of a lifetime "He-Man" the most non gay hero ever! As well as staple geek flicks as the original Star Wars trilogy.

But these days it's not so bad to be a nerd or a geek. That is a well overdue thanks to pop culture. With a little help from Hollywood of course. In the past decade, since Bryan Singer delivered "X-Men" to us, I've been treated to several "nerdgasms" that have made me feel like a five year old boy time and time again!

2010 has been a somewhat quiet year for comic inspired films. Iron Man 2 which was quite a delicious treat has been pretty much the only big name flick. But next year. Next year my toast gets some butter baby!

On the D.C. side we have Ryan Reynolds (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) as "Green Lantern". The tale of cocky fighter pilot, Hal Jordan. Jordan's chosen to wear a ring of immense power that can create quite literally anything the bearer imagines! This of course will be the jumping point for a projected trilogy that will show Hal as well as other Green Lantern's serving and protecting our galaxy.

But over on the Marvel side of things, we have some powerhouses on deck. Literally. Thor, the Asgardian God of thunder, who is sent to Earth. Played by Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek) who has the size to be the said Norse diety. Captain America, played by the unlikely Chris Evans (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World), whom has already played in the "Fantastic Four" as Johnny Storm aka the Human Torch.

I am pretty stoked for Green Lantern, but I am counting the days till I can get in line for midnight screenings of Thor and Cap. The main reason for this is simple. The Avengers!!!! Since Iron Man came out a couple years back, Marvel's plan to put the larger than life team on film as slowly been coming into fruition. All with Samuel L. Jackson as the main link between them all to boot. His 10 second cameo post Iron Man credits, got him a 9 picture deal to portray S.H.I.E.L.D. front man, Nick Fury.

Anyone with their thumbs not 3 knuckles deep inside their own ass, but instead on the proverbial pulse, can tell you Marvel aka "the House of Ideas", has got it going on! I mean it's pretty fricken sick how ambitious their plan is. Bring forth the main characters in the Avengers with individual, big budge, awesome films that have actors all set up to team up, literally on screen, all to take on some sort of world threatening villian, or villians!

Of course the only setback is that Edward Norton who played Dr. Bruce Banner in "The Incredible Hulk" was unfortunately been put aside while while Marvel decided to get an ass eating, butt munch, known as Mark Ruffalo. Who knows, his entire crappy career could have lead him to this and, he might just blow it right out of the water! Highly unlikely, but one can dream!

Now I'm off topic. Avengers is a 2012 film this article is about 2011. Again, I can't wait for it to get here. The onscreen reuniting of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in "Paul", Zack Snyder's latest, starring the cause of all my wet dreams as of late, Emily Browning (The Uninvited) are just a couple of more reasons.

Oh and did I mention fucking Thor and Captian fucking America!!?!?! Holy fuck it's great to be a geek these days. In fact in January, pulp classic hero "the Green Hornet" starring Seth Rogen (every movie in 2009) kicks off the start of this great year for comic book films. Green Hornet is probably not as well known as it's lead actor mind you, but the films teaser trailer, looks promising.

It looks to be quite the year ahead of us. I'm more than certain this will not be the last time I write about any of these movies! And with every day that passes, another gets closer to it!

-Justin

OH GROSSS by Justin

So last night at work, I was doing my routine cleaning. When all of a sudden this rotund ball of disgusting, freckly, ginger comes to order food! It took everything I had not to barf the vomit that rose into my mouth, all over the counter in front of me! I did in fact, go and get Jenn to check "it" out! To which she did and almost immediatly returned with a huge smile that quickly turned into almost uncontrollable laughter!

This is not, by any means, and isolated incident. I like most of you, have known many red haired, freckled, and pale skinned "things". In elementary they shared our playgrounds, and creeped the hell out of us! When I was in junior high, I knew one that not only was a gross ginger, happened to be a wigger fag to boot! At one point he even had corn-rows! White people should NEVER have corn-rows! Especially ones with sick, orangey-red hair!!!!

What is it about gingers that make us feel ill with in moments of seeing them? Well I think I'll break it all down into the 3 main characteristics!

Red Hair:
Obviously this is the tell tale sign of these disgusting creatures. But I know for a fact that red hair isn't all that bad! Take Isla Fischer for instance. This little hottie was uber hot as a sex freak in "Wedding Crashers". Or Lindsay Lohan circa "Mean Girls"!!! Those beauties don't technically count as gingers. At least in my book. While they have red hair, it's not that sickly, gross orange-red that trademark a Ginger.

Freckles:
Freckles are pretty gross. I can't think of any time I liked them. I used to get them in the summer time as a child, on my cheeks. But come fall they'd vanish. A few summers ago I went through quite possibly the worst sun burns in the history of EVER, which lead to my shoulders and upper back to be covered in them to this day. But at least in my case they were a reaction. Ginger's happen to be cursed since birth to bear these demon spots!

Pale Skin:
Many legends that deal with monsters, such as the undead talk about figures with pale skin. Vampires, fresh zombies, hell even death himself all have an inability to get a tan! "South Park"'s Eric Cartman, gave a presentation that somewhat proved that Ginger's were in fact "not unlike vampires"! Lets just say, it's a pretty thorough presentation. Pale skin isn't always bad either though. Remember Snow White? She was the fairest in all the land! Also "Stoya". Anyone who's watched one of her films, would know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

In conclusion, I figure, it's not simply having one symptom of "Gingervitis" but in fact having all 3 combined that make up these hideous creatures! So the next time your on the bus, or at the mall and you come across one of these sickly, gross, things. Remember, while your struggling to keep your bile in your stumach... don't turn your back on it, because when it comes to your soul, it won't hesitate to suck it out of your body!

Thank you!

-Justin

Check out this piece of "Art" :




Also, I couldn't find the original South Park clip with Cartman's presentation, but this is close enough !

Game Review: Red Dead Redemption by Justin

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

First One.

Hello all, Jen speakin'.

I'm not entirely sure what to write about, as all my material is at home. So I'll just improvise for now. And pardon my transitions; they'll be intentionally obnoxious.

I saw Inception this past weekend. In fact, Justin suggested I write about it in the blog. I won't even begin to explain it, comprehend it, or detail it for your knowledge. Get off your ass and go watch it yourself. It's complicated, mind-blowing, and down right phenomenal. Bravo, Christopher Nolan. A movie comparable to The Dark Knight? You deserve a cookie.

NEXT:

Uhm... next...

Uhhh...

Shut the fuck up, Justin. I'm thinking...

Okay, NEXT:
I'm going to school for Geology. Yup, University of Manitoba- Class of I Don't Fucking Know (Masters, PHD? I'm juggling the ideas). I'll be learning more about Earth, it's many dynamics, and how it's physical attributes have eroded, melted, washed away, broken, subducted, froze, expanded, evolved over +4 billion years. NOT SIX THOUSAND YEARS. Yes, that's right ladies. I'm pointin' my finger at you Young Earth Creationests who believe the world is only six thousand years old. Really? Are you familar with Crater Lake, Oregon? It was once a massive volcano only six thousand years ago. It's core collapsed and has since collected melted snow and rain water creating what we call a caldera. Regardless, that process took only six thousand years, and in regards to the rest of Earth's time line, that's nothing. Nada, zilch, zip. It's incomparable to, say, the Rocky Mountains which took 75 million years to form! That number is incomprehensible to the 10% of our brain usage! 75 million years scientifically proven by cold, hard facts. Not pulled out of the ass of some middle-aged, overweight scientist sitting at a desk picking his nose.

But what should emphasize the truth even more for you narrow-minded people is the oldest rock discovered by man. Listen up (I'll write in caps so you get my point):

OFF THE COAST OF THE HUDSON BAY IN NORTH QUEBEC LIES A TYPE OF GNEISS THAT HAS BEEN DATED AT 3.8-4.28 BILLION YEARS OLD. NOT THOUSANDS, BILLIONS.

GO FIND THAT ROCK, SIT ON IT, AND RECONSIDER YOUR BELIEFS.

THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.




Yours truly,

Jen

<3

Gee I Heart Glee!!!! by Justin

So it's been a few weeks since Glee's season finale aired and I'm already jonesing for season two.

It's funny, I normally don't like musicals. I more or less think that they are pretty fricken gay. There is just something about this show. Maybe it's the humour, or maybe the obvious chemistry that the cast has on and off screen. Or maybe it's just Santana, with those "Fuck Me" eyes!! ;]

It's probably the music, aside from one particular episode that was devoted to that won't quit has been known as Madonna. The music is pretty good! Some songs like Beck's "Loser" and, Aerosmith's "Dream On", which are songs I pretty much hated prior to watching the glee cast perform them, have really shed a light on old classics. I often find myself with classic rock songs stuck in my head no thanks to this show. "Can't fight this feeling" and "Beth, I hear you calling" are 2 prime examples. Also Journey, and lots of it! :] Like I always say, there's nothing like Journey to bring white people together!

The show also boasts alot of heart at it's core. Between love interests and issues like teen pregnancy and a homosexual coming out of the closet to his father, it can be a genuinly touching. Seriously, it's made me all glossy eyed on several occasions.

But now it's over for at least 3-4 more months. I won't ruin the details, but it ended on a high note. Tied up some pretty major storylines and opened the door to new beginnings!

-Justin

Welcome!!!!

Welcome to the blog you've all been waiting to gaze your eyes upon!!!
This is the bloggiest blog in all of blogging history, ever, EVER!!!!

We will be posting all sorts of things that will warm your heart, tickle your silly bone, and tickle your tickle bone ;) also some things that are not for the feint of heart. If you get offended easily, you will not be always happy with the content posted. But if your not a conservative asshole, we're sure you'll have a great time!!

So make sure to check back often to see what kinds of zany things we toss up here!
Also don't be afraid to post comments, we thrive off you knowing you love or hate the shit we post hahahaha

anyways, peace for now!

-Justin and Jenn!