Tuesday, November 16, 2010

5 reasons I think soccer is gay. by Justin

As a geek, I don't get too much pleasure out of sports. I prefer to watch Kevin Smith movies or play my PS3. This doesn't mean I hate sports. At least entirely. I love Lacrosse, and I'd love to learn how to golf. But most sports, at least for me are just more fun to play than watch.

Golf, football (I mostly prefer the playing catch aspect), Hockey, are sports I enjoy playing. I used to play a lot of backyard sports when I was much younger. The only sport I actually played in a league.. was soccer. Now I was 4 years old, and didn't really have much to say in the matter. My cousin was on a team, so I joined in. I don't remember very much about it except that I had a few trophies and apparently I would cry when no one would pass me the ball. A kid crying at 4 years old cause his team mates won't share, is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyways I've never really liked soccer. In fact I pretty much despise it. So here is 5 reasons that I made up on the spot earlier tonight, completely for no apparent reason, that I think soccer is gay!

Numero I:

You can't use your hands!!
Where the hell is the fun in that? Sure it's challenging, but it's fucking stupid

Numero II:

The nets are too big!
A hockey net is a great size, because one person can block it. The net for a soccer goal is like the size of four 67' Cadillac's stacked together!! Props to any single goaltender that can keep from getting scored on, cause seriously I wouldn't even bother showing up.

Numero III:

World Cup.
World cup happens every few years or so, I don't know how many, because I don't give a fuck, and everybody makes a big deal about it. The reality is though, most of those same people don't give a rats ass about soccer. But because it's a big event, they all gotta show their fakeness by rooting for teams that arent even from their own country. Fucking fake ass bitches.

Numero IV:

High socks.
Wearing your socks pulled all the way up when you have shorts on, is the stupidest look ever... topped only by stir-up pants in baseball!!

And finally the last and probably most important reason I think soccer is gay:

Numero V:

MEGA MAN SOCCER


I'm tempted to just leave it at that. If you've ever played this game, you will know what an utter piece of dog shit it is. I don't even want to bother to review it. IT SUCKS BALLS.
The END



-Justin

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Playstation THREE by Justin

Hey all, just did a minor addition to the bloggy blog. If you peer over to your right you will see my PS3 gamer tag. Feel free to add me to your system if you gots one and yous wants to play some games wif me!! Anyways yeah, I have seen these things on message boards for a long time now and for some odd reason I never had one. Which is stupid cuz I love my PS3 and I play it all the time. I'm currently playing "Star Wars the Force Unleashed II" for like the third or fourth time. I think this game is a lot of fun to play. And I'm only 2 trophies away from having platinum (100% trophies for the game). So yeah nothing major, but something fun to peek at on the sidelines lol Till next time..

Peace

-Justin

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I.D.G.A.F. by Justin

So some of you may know this and have seen it, but for the most part it's not been shared at all. I have a little green sketchbook that I started doing doodles and sketches in, roughly a year ago. In this little green sketchbook also has several little comic strips that I made. Mostly based on true stories or conversations from my everyday life... because I'm a shitty writer and can't think of anything to do myself hahaha. Besides, the best inspiration is drawn from your own experiences :d

Anyways while I was at C4 comic con last weekend, I had teh esteemed pleasure of sharing a table with 3 gentlemen from a website called www.3inq.com. These gentlemen really were a treat for me, as they were funny as hell, and into homo-erotic humor. I showed them said green sketchbook and it was a hit. Which personally was nice to know that relative strangers thought my stuff was good as opposed to just a few close friends, family and, my girlfriend.. all whom are biased.

So after glancing at my book, they said I should do daily comics for their website. I was flabbergasted at the offer. I obviously accepted, but declined on the notion of it being daily, as I am not a good writer and would not be able to make that kind of a deadline. We agreed on Weekly, which is fine, because that gives me the option to try to make a new strip to add, or just fall back on the ones I already have.... and with the exception of maybe 4 people, nobody would know hahahha

So I thought this would be a good time to be like a non-gay George Lucas. I started digitally remastering my work, so that I could share it with a broader audience. Also I gave it a title. "I.D.G.A.F." Which of course is an acronym for "I don't give a fuck" lol I also decided that this would be the opportune time to add wonderful technicolor and do minor editorial changes. Things that were funny a year ago, may not be now.



Also for the sake of making their site more popular, although that may stop immediately since I've come aboard, I will only be posting the comic strips exclusively to 3inq.com. Until they kick me off the site hahaha

So I hope you check their site, and bookmark it and all that jazz. It's pretty good. "Buddy Cop", a video project of theirs is soo funny. Get down there and have a good time!! Also the book "Victor's Legacy" which is about Frankenstein's monster in a zombie infested post apocalyptic world, is really good. The first 5 chapters are online, or you could be awesome and just purchase the entire first volume in graphic novel form. I have a copy, (and it's signed, bitches) It's a fantastic read!!! The website is at the bottom of the page, as well as the facebook fan page of Merk, the artist behind "Victor's Legacy"

Your assignment is to enjoy our shit, no go forth and be free... whatever the fuck that means!!

-Justin


www.3inq.com
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Merk/135968200630

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Movember!!! by Justin

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEEAARRR!!!! That's right, Movember is back!!! Fall is here, time to keep your upper lip warm with a beautiful and elegant mustache! I started growing in the rest of my goatee back in September. I normally have just the chin. Last year, I started growing Nov. 1st and I had to wait till the end of the month to finally have a really nice stache, only to have to shave it off for the end of the month. Now thanks to pregrowing and shaving off the chin bits, I have a spectacular handlebar mustache, that I will be making smaller every week of the month, leaving me with something similar to what Charlie Chaplin donned on his face oh so many years ago!!!



Movember is not only about looking bad ass, it's about spreading awareness about men's health issues. The most predominant being Prostate cancer. Which takes way too many lives, every day. I'm not about to get a flow chart going, or post some statistics or anything. But it's super serial. Mustache's have been given a bad rap over the last 12 years or so. It seem's that they are solely for Hockey players during playoff season and porn stars, in porno season. I think if we all look back at photo albums, our father's rocked some pretty sweet mustaches as a day to day look. I know for at least for me, whenever my dad, or my late Uncle Roy, when they were clean shaven it was difficult to recognize them!!! Obviously now, in my mid twenties, I don't find it hard to recognize who my father is, but I still pester him from time to time to grow it again, for me lol Have you ever seen Sam Elliott without his face snuggler? He is still very handsome, but I can't help but stare at the void under his nose! There's just an empty space where a mustache should be!!! It doesn't look right! It is something that definitely suits him, like other mustache enthusiasts, such as Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. These men are cinematic icons... as well as icons for epic bad assery! Can you imagine what Hulk Hogan would look like clean shaven? I don't even want to live in that world! Hell even Ben Affleck, who is one of people magazine's sexiest man of the year award winners, rocked a full on handlebar stache in Smokin' Aces.He looked fucking awesome as shit! He was also killed off in said film, but that is beside the point XD So come on my fellow Y chromosomers, get that stache growing, the ladies will thank you for it, your upper lip will thank you for it, and in December when you look back at the previous month you will not regret it!!! -Justin