5 reasons I think soccer is gay. by Justin

As a geek, I don't get too much pleasure out of sports. I prefer to watch Kevin Smith movies or play my PS3. This doesn't mean I hate sports. At least entirely. I love Lacrosse, and I'd love to learn how to golf. But most sports, at least for me are just more fun to play than watch.

Golf, football (I mostly prefer the playing catch aspect), Hockey, are sports I enjoy playing. I used to play a lot of backyard sports when I was much younger. The only sport I actually played in a league.. was soccer. Now I was 4 years old, and didn't really have much to say in the matter. My cousin was on a team, so I joined in. I don't remember very much about it except that I had a few trophies and apparently I would cry when no one would pass me the ball. A kid crying at 4 years old cause his team mates won't share, is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyways I've never really liked soccer. In fact I pretty much despise it. So here is 5 reasons that I made up on the spot earlier tonight, completely for no apparent reason, that I think soccer is gay!

Numero I:

You can't use your hands!!
Where the hell is the fun in that? Sure it's challenging, but it's fucking stupid

Numero II:

The nets are too big!
A hockey net is a great size, because one person can block it. The net for a soccer goal is like the size of four 67' Cadillac's stacked together!! Props to any single goaltender that can keep from getting scored on, cause seriously I wouldn't even bother showing up.

Numero III:

World Cup.
World cup happens every few years or so, I don't know how many, because I don't give a fuck, and everybody makes a big deal about it. The reality is though, most of those same people don't give a rats ass about soccer. But because it's a big event, they all gotta show their fakeness by rooting for teams that arent even from their own country. Fucking fake ass bitches.

Numero IV:

High socks.
Wearing your socks pulled all the way up when you have shorts on, is the stupidest look ever... topped only by stir-up pants in baseball!!

And finally the last and probably most important reason I think soccer is gay:

Numero V:

MEGA MAN SOCCER


I'm tempted to just leave it at that. If you've ever played this game, you will know what an utter piece of dog shit it is. I don't even want to bother to review it. IT SUCKS BALLS.
The END



-Justin